Princess Unaware Week Ten

Brave Princess

We all of have fear, and some of us are bound by our fear.  But we should live in confidence knowing that if God is for us who can be against us?  I know, some of you are saying "I know a lot of people who are against me".  But the point is they will never win, unless YOU let them!

We all have core fears, things like fear of rejection or abandonment, being unloved, or maybe feeling like you are just never good enough.  Satan knows we have these core fears and he uses them to get us to believe his lies.  Some people may reject us, abandon us, not love us, and I know we aren't all theoretical physicists, but the fact remains that God loves us and only wants what is in our best interest.  

There may be stirring of legitimate fear.  For example are you in a situation you shouldn't be in?  Brenda uses her daughters as an example on page 248, and I know you remember being a teenager and in school.  If you are in a  situation you shouldn't be in, an unsupervised party that gets out of control, riding with someone who then decides to drink, etc., remove yourself from these situations at once and then safeguard so that you hopefully don't get in that situation again.  Here's one time where running away is a good thing.

But other times our fear is completely baseless, for example worrying about what others will think, say or do.  Talk about borrowing trouble!  You don't know any of that will happen, but who among us hasn't spent needless hours of worry over something like this?  As long as you are following God's plan for your life, or even just beginning to align yourself to find out what that plan is, you do not need to worry about anyone else.

Face down fear with these weapons: the Word, obedience, and confidence in God.  Scripture has the answer for everything, you just have to look.  The Psalms are a great place to dwell when you are dealing with fear.  And if we are obeying God, fear pretty much evaporates on its own.  Sometimes you may feel overwhelmed, but simply take it one step at a time and if need be put your blinders on!  Obedience blinders not only keep us from being distracted, but they keep us safe as well.  Most importantly, simply knowing God, knowing who He is and what He wants for us, gives us the confidence we need to face our fears.  How to know Him better to gain that confidence?  It all circles back...read the Word and speak with Him daily.

You made it...OK you still might be working at it, but you are on the right path.  You are a Princess of the King.  Rejoice in that....again I say rejoice!!

Until Next Time.....

Franny

Princess Unaware Week Nine

Slaying Dragons

So you think being a Christian is easy? PUH!!  No one ever said it would be easy and in fact, I'm pretty sure it says in the Bible that it won't be.  We will face opposition from even the most unlikeliest of sources, so beware, and be ready to slay some dragons!

Friends and family: yep, and this one hurts the most.  The ones we love will sometimes be our biggest dragons....some of you know exactly what I'm saying.  As we work harder to live like the Princess God made us to be, our friends and family may be "left behind" and will sometimes do whatever they can to hold us back with them.  And they're pretty good at it.  They know how to push our buttons to get certain reactions and then will point and smile while saying, "you see, I knew you hadn't really changed".  You would think that these would be the most supportive people in your life, and sometimes they are, but you have to remember that they like you the way you were.  They don't want you to change because it makes them look at themselves.  Sometimes we are lucky and they will join us on the journey, but sometimes we will need to leave them behind.

Then there is one of the biggest dragons of all, the one you see in the mirror every morning.  That's right, you!  We make ourselves stumble through things like being a perfectionist, procrastinating, being lazy, going along with the way things are because it's easier, and of course making excuses.  Guilty of all of those things?  Yeah, me too!  You can find verse in the Bible to help you combat each of these.  I could give them to you, but how 'bout you look them up for yourself....THAT'S how you'll slay the dragon!

And last but not least, satan himself.  I've said it before, discouragement is the biggest tool in the devil's workshop.  Once he gets us discouraged, a myriad of other feelings follow to tear us down.  Be assured of this; God NEVER uses discouragement so you can be positive this is from satan and deal with it appropriately.  All those negative thoughts about not being good enough, etc. are from satan the big liar.  Throw those thoughts out of your head and fill them with thoughts from God.  Remember, we are never separated from God nor out of His thoughts.  Let's not keep Him out of ours!

Grab your sword and let's go!

Until Next Time.....

Franny

Princess Unaware Week Eight

Principles for your journey to Fabulous!

I love these principles that Brenda came up with and how perfectly it goes with getting our priorities straight!  No one said this was easy!  Being a Princess is going to take a lot of hard work....but work that is eventually more rewarding than anything you will EVER do!!

Perseverance
"If you give your best only part of the time, your life will be like a puzzle with half of the pieces missing.  The picture looks promising and interesting, but without all the pieces it is incomplete and not worth much" (p.194)  I used Brenda's exact words here because they explain it so well.  Have you ever felt like that, or know that you had done that?  It is so true.  I know that I have had days at work where I did not put my best effort in.  I always regret it and usually end up working twice as hard the next day because I redo the job I did part way to do it the right way.  What a waste of time and effort, even though it was only half effort.  If we do our best at all times, we will feel better about ourselves on a daily basis knowing we gave it our all, but also, when people want to point fingers or accuse you of not doing everything you should, you know it's a lie, and better yet, God knows it's a lie, so we don't need to beat ourselves up over others' words.

The principle of neglect
This is kinda like saying that it is ok to say no or not right now, sometimes.  Put first things first (see the post about priorities!) and neglect the things that don't need to be done right now....or maybe not done at all.  Putting first things first on a daily basis might look different for each one of us.  Some of us work outside the home and some do not.  I don't right now, so my first things are my quiet time directly after breakfast, then each day is a little different as to whether or not chores are done first or errands or if I have appointments.  But each day my tasks are prioritized, and some days, things get neglected!  It took me awhile to be ok with that, but as long as I have accomplished the most important things each day, I am content.....and I NEVER thought I would be able to say that!  Then there are the times where we need to completely ignore something, neglect it, altogether.  For example in the priorities post I described the girl who couldn't get her homework done for all her activities and friends.  Maybe on certain nights of the week, she doesn't talk to her friends on the phone...she will see them the next day in school.  Perhaps she doesn't need to be involved in every sport offered...choose the one or two you really like and let go of the others.  The stress of keeping up with all of these activities is sometimes more than the enjoyment you can get from them....that's a little crazy if you ask me.

The principle of blinders
Yes, blinders, just like you see horses wear in a horse race to keep them from being distracted by anything other than what is directly in front of them.  And, my word, we live in a world full of distractions!!  When I was a kid, our first TV was black and white and we got 3 channels.  Now I have about 100.  On the internet I can find anything, and I do mean ANYTHING!  Even I have a cellphone that is smarter then me, and a computer, and an ipad (it was free!), and a Wii, and all kinds of DVDs and books, etc.  I could fill up every second of my life with what I have right now and still not even touch all the things there are in this world to distract me!!  I have got to put some blinders on.  If over half of those things I listed weren't given to me I wouldn't have them, and I have gotten rid of a lot of things while doing the 1 Year to an Organized Life.  People do not understand me and in fact have gotten mad at me when I have said no to them about things this past year.  I do not work outside the home, therefore I do nothing....sound familiar?  Certain people feel that I should come running whenever they want or need something.  And I do want to help people.  In fact this summer has been very hectic for me in that regard, but I have also managed to still keep up with at least the Bible study and organizational study here on the blog, as well as my quiet time.  Those things I will not give up as I feel that it is my calling and task at this point in my life.  I have to put my blinders on to other things so I don't let these things go.  Jesus said, "follow me!" He didn't say look to your left and right as you trail along behind Me somewhere, we are to follow Him, and sometimes, just like a workhorse needs to stay focused, we need to make the decision to put our blinders on and follow Him.

Until Next Time.....
Franny

Princess Unaware Week Seven

What royal Success looks like - the princess defines her priorities

When you begin to define your priorities, remember this: the world does not define success the same way that God does!  It is time to set some things in their proper place!

Start by listing all of the things you do/are involved in/wish you could do.  Now decide what is really important in light of the fact that you are a child of God and not of the world.  Does your child REALLY need to be in a different activity every single day of the week?  I heard from an 8th grade student once about why her grades were failing.  She said it was the homework.  She had sports activities 7 days a week, then she wanted to talk on the phone with her friends sometimes, I mean you have to have somewhat of a social life.  Her problem was the homework.  By the time she was done with sports and her friends there wasn't any time to do her homework.

Then there is someone in my husband's family.  Education is supposedly extremely important and his son gets in trouble if his grades aren't up to par.  But as school began this fall, he did not like his son's schedule so he went to the school to get it changed.  You see during baseball and band seasons, his son was scheduled to take the "harder"classes.  He wanted his son to have his "easy" classes during these times.  First of all, when in life do you get to decide to have part of it easy so you can deal better with the harder part?  Second of all, if you had a top athlete with a learning disability, maybe.  This boy only played one inning in one game last year!

Except for outhouses and such, I wish I were alive in the 40's and 50's.  Social networking was actually hanging out with one another in your backyard or on the porch.  There weren't a million activities to be involved in.  Church was a little bigger priority for Christians, and being together for a meal was law.  I have friends that used to be in a Bible study with me.  One after another they slowly dropped out because of other commitments.  Church volleyball league, media ministry, or using that time to prepare for a sunday school lesson.  All good things to be sure, but are you over booked?  Are you keeping busy in the eyes of the church to look good, but really not spending any time with God for growth or prayer?  Yes, you can even do too much at church.  And this was my personal favorite for 2 ladies quitting.  They had so many things going on that the day we were doing study was the only time that they could rest and God wanted them to rest; it's in the Bible.  This is true!  But their other evenings were filled with a combo of church activity and movie or game nights.  Where's God's time, people?!

There is a lot more to this chapter, but I'm stuck on priorities.  That's not to say that mine are perfectly aligned, but I sure am trying!  Are you??

Until Next Time.....
Franny

Princess Unaware Week Six

Living your royal dream! - The princess discovers her Father's plan for her

Have you ever said to God, "you know if you would just show me the road map I would gladly follow it"?  Well, He does, just maybe not in the specific detail that we would like to see!  God put a dream in you, He created desires for you.  We just have to learn to listen to them.

Have you ever felt the urge to do something, but then talked yourself out of it, but it just wouldn't go away?  That may very well be the desire God has put in your heart.  The seed He planted of your plan sprouting and bursting to get to the sunshine.  Start thinking about it.  If you could do anything at all for the Kingdom what would you want to do?  That's your passion.  Dwell on that thought.  Is the urge overwhelming? This is probably God's plan for you!  And yes, some dreams may be in the public school system where you can change the life of a child.  You know what is right and wrong, you know what is greed and what is not.  Pray and read the Word...it will be made clear to you!

Discover your gifts by doing a spiritual gift inventory.  You might THINK you would be a teacher, but once you do the inventory you might find that your gift is really more hospitality or administration.  Most inventories will then lead you to possible jobs or missions within your gifted area.  And don't confuse this gift with a talent.  Your talent may go hand in hand with your gift, but it is not the same thing.  I have a talent for organization, which goes great with my gift of administration.  Do you see what I mean?

Once you put together your passion, your gift and your talent, you will be an unstoppable force for the Kingdom!!  But don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen this week!  I have been in seasons of growth where I did very little with my gift, but once that season was over, I had learned so much, that my gift was better than ever.  You might need to learn something first, or you might need to go through some training.  No one can tell you exactly when you will come into that perfect place of being in the plan fully, except for God, and trust me, if you are listening, He will clearly tell you when you are ready!

Until Next Time.....
Franny

Princess Unaware Week Five

Royal Relationships 101

We are to love each other as Christ loves us.  This kind of love isn't deserved, it is bestowed.  This kind of love isn't the warm fuzzy you feel for your family, friends or dog.  This kind of love is called Agape.  Agape love cares about other people and shows kindness to them (p. 110)  This kind of love covers all kinds of relationships; the good and the bad.  We don't criticize, compare, or talk down to, we see the person for who they are and care for them anyway.  This kind of love doesn't wish the person would get ignored or shunned; it acknowledges and builds up.  God loves us and wants what is best for us; we are to do the same for others.  Note "what is best for us".  This does not mean we have to do everything that everyone wants at all times.  Especially if it is enabling that person's sin, we are to then say no.  Love listens, love prays for, love lifts up, love helps in time of need, love visits the sick and imprisoned.  Love DOES NOT agree with wrong, tear others down, assist in wrong doing, or help someone get out of prison or rehab when they need to be there.  I remember thinking that I was a horrible person for not feeling love for very many people.  I didn't have the understanding of Agape love.  I'm not going to want to hug and "love on" every person in the world.  I am called to help and be kind.  This does not mean that person has to be my best friend.

Jesus loved all people with Agape love, but he was only friends with a very few people.  He was friends with people who were there to help Him fulfill His mission.  He was friends with people that built Him up, genuinely cared about Him as a person and wanted to know Him on a deeper level.  Do not let others use you, be careful about who you let into your life on that deeper level.  We are to love and pray for our enemies and give them what they need when they need it, but we don't have to invite them to our birthday party!  Get to know others very well before you call them friend.  I read a book about friendship that suggested the same time as dating someone before getting married as to call them your friend rather than acquaintance.  In one year you will have seen the good and bad in this person, probably seen how they act in sickness, how they treat others during stressful holiday seasons etc.  It also takes time to really get to know someone and have meaningful conversations.  I know someone that I have been around for about 9 years.  She and I did not become "close" until the last maybe 3-4 years and then have actually grown apart in the last year or so.  I don't feel that we ever got on a deep and meaningful level.  Some people will not let others on that level.  It is closed up behind a brick wall.  You cannot force your way over it, but don't give up too quickly either.  This person and I may never be BFF's, but I will always love her.

Now here's a fun subject: forgiveness!  This one is often confused, and I am guilty of this, with going back to the ways things were (reconcile) and then trusting that person again.  This is not always the case.  There is a whole lot of work to being reconciled and then trust is more work after that.  Some things are so bad that two people will never be reconciled or trust each other ever again, but they can still forgive.  In forgiveness we are to "let go" of whatever the bad thing is.  That DOES NOT mean saying it is OK, and it does not necessarily mean forgetting about it.  Let go means to not hold a grudge or let the incident stew in our minds where we become angry every time we think about it.  We are to let it go out of our constant thoughts, and trust that God as the ultimate Judge will take care of the consequences.  By holding onto the memory of the offense and getting angry about it, we are only hurting ourselves.  The person that offended us doesn't even know we are thinking about them....it doesn't hurt them a bit!  This is not easy by any means.  God tells us that we have to pray to forgive others just as we are forgiven ourselves, then we have to have our hearts in the right place to really mean it, and God will do the healing.  Once we have forgiven the person we can still love them with Agape love.

Romans 12:18 says "so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men".  It takes two to be reconciled, but as far as it depends on you be at peace with all men.  If the other person does not want to work it out in a healthy and Biblical way, we cannot force them to and we are not responsible for their response.  If you have truthfully done all you can, from here on out all you can do is pray for that person.

Trust is another level.  If the offense was based on sin or a character flaw, give the person time to repent and or change before trusting them 100%.  Trust is not usually instantaneously restored, it takes time and work.

There are unfortunately some relationships that will not survive.  One person may never repent or change and may never again be trusted.  One person may not wish to be reconciled unless you do everything she wants and to accept 100% fault.  This isn't true reconciliation and your "friendship" needs to be reconsidered.  BUT, you can still "love" them.


Until Next Time.....
Franny

Princess Unaware Week Four

Why are other Princesses so difficult?  (y'all perked up on that one didn't you? so did I)

During our quiet time aren't we soooo confident in our relationship with God and we think we have it all down pat?  Then we run into our peers and most, if not all of it, flies out the window.  Yes, even me.  I'm not big into makeup, I hardly wear it, and the latest fashions? Please!  I am no longer a string bean and NO ONE wants to see me in skinny jeans!  But get me around certain people....and most are people from church....and I'm pulling at my hair and clothes and making sure all of the hair in my eyebrows are lying flat.  Why?!?  We could blame it on society as a whole or the media, but what we need to do is remind ourselves who we are in Christ and realize that what people see on the outside isn't important.  Don't get me wrong, I still think you should bathe and look the best that you can, but do not worry about it past that.  As long as you are giving your best in ALL that you do, that is all that God asks of us.

Ok, so I've gotten over what the mirror tells me....mostly.  But now here comes the people pleasing or peer pressure angst.  I am a people pleaser to the bone.  I want to make everyone happy at all times.  And I have asked myself why a lot.  Because I want everyone to be happy so that there is no fighting or back biting, but also, if I were to be perfectly honest, so that everyone will like me.  I would have not wasted thousands of hours of my life if I would have listened to Abraham Lincoln.  You CANNOT please everyone, to paraphrase Abe, it is impossible and you'll only making yourself miserable trying.  The only one we are to work hard to please at all times is God....that's it!  But let me caution you that that doesn't mean you must volunteer for every opportunity at church.  God gifted each one of us specifically so, first of all, you are not going to fit into every volunteer opportunity.  Secondly, even Jesus rested and didn't heal everyone!  If you wear yourself down and make yourself sick by doing way too much, then you aren't good to anyone, especially yourself.  Prayerfully consider the things you should do for the Kingdom.

Criticism and judging, yikes!  Not to be stereotypical, but it is slightly true, when I moved to the South, I learned that some people will criticize you to your face but preface it with "bless your heart" to make it sound like they are trying to be nice.  At least where I come from people talk behind your back!  Just kidding....although not much.  But again if I am going to be perfectly honest, I judge people on first impressions or one thing that they do without getting to know them.  That is a form of criticism that we are all guilty of.  Sometimes it sneaks up on me before I realize it and I can even shock myself at some things I instantly think about someone.  In the past I would just move on and not give that a second thought.  Now I'll stop and ask myself why I thought that and try to work it out in my head asking myself did I get to know this person, etc.  I'm still very much a work in progress in this area!

Three paragraphs yet I feel like that was an awful lot!  I need to focus on these things myself.  We're going to be looking at ourselves a lot more in the weeks to come, I hope you'll stick with me!

Until Next Time.....
Franny

Princess Unaware Week Three

The King and I: Knowing our Father

And the most important thing we need to know about our Father is His love for us.  He always loves us and always wants what is best for us.  This can be a hard concept to understand, but think about yourself as a parent, if you are one, or a similar situation if you are not.  Your child can do something really bad, but you still love him and want what's best for him.  Multiply that by 10,000 and you'll start to get the idea of how much God loves you.  And His love never runs out.  He doesn't just give up one day and say He can't stand you anymore, HE ALWAYS LOVES YOU!!

You also need to know that God is faithful, God is Sovereign, and God always listens....always.  I like to think of God as an invisible best friend who is always at my side.  I talk to Him while I'm driving, while I'm cleaning my house, while I'm grocery shopping, etc.  I know that there was a time in my life where I had heard all of these things many times, but it just didn't sink in; I didn't think I was good enough.  It will sink into everyone at different points in our lives; I can't make you get it.  But keep reminding yourself....that's what I had to do.  I read the same passages and verses over and over before I finally realized that maybe I wasn't good enough for certain people, but I am good enough for God.  That's doesn't mean I'll skate through life saying nothing matters because I'm good enough for God, because what really happens is that once you realize it, you actually want to do the absolute best that you can at everything, just like it says in Colossians 3:23.

So what about you?  in what area of your life or situation you are in is God asking you to trust His love, Faithfulness and Sovereignty knowing that He will listen to you?  Think about it and ask Him for help in that area.  And get ready for it to click....you will feel so much peace when it does!


Until next Time.....
Franny

Princess Unaware Week Two

Princess or Peasant?

Haven't we all wondered this....more than once in our lives?  Well, let me tell you that you are a Princess....and here are a few more truths from Chapter 2:

1. you are a part of God's family (p.40)
2. God has also made you an heir (p.40)
3. we are loved by God (p.40)
4. God wants a relationship with you (p.41)
5. He always wants what's best for us (p.41)
6. the only opinion we need to care about is God's (p. 44)
7. God sees you (p.44)
8. God knew you would be His by divine plan (p.44)
9. God picked us to be His daughters (p.45)
10. we have total access to the King (p.45)

How do these truths make you feel, especially in light of the lies of this world?  It makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that I am not the sum of the lies and opinions of other people, that I am important to Him.  However, that does not mean we can sit back and say that nothing else matters.  No, we do have privileges in this world but also responsibilities! 

Right now, my privileges are being able to not work outside the home, and living in America, being able to express my opinion without fear of death.  But I also have responsibilities.  I do all the housework, pay the bills, do all the shopping and cooking, and balance the budget and the checkbook to name a few.  What about you?  Think about your privileges and responsibilities. 

We also have privileges and responsibilities with God.  Obviously the biggest privilege ever is our eternity in Heaven with our creator.  Our responsibilities include things like living as Christ taught us and keeping and sharing God's Word.  There are a lot more.  Can you find some in the Bible?  Of course there are a lot more privileges or rather gifts that God gives us.  Check out Ephesians 1:1-9 (p.57).  He gives us spiritual blessing, He chose us to be holy and blameless, He predestined us, He blessed us, He gave us redemption, forgiveness and grace, and He let us know His will.  

Isn't God good?  How can we be discouraged when we know all of these things?  Yes, that's a rhetorical question.  I still get discouraged sometimes too, because we live in this fallen world.  But just remind yourself of these truths during those times....and all the time for that matter.  Those moments of discouragement will be further apart....that's another truth!  List out the truths that you find in the Bible that really speak to you, on index cards and carry them with you or post them in prominent places.  We all need some reminding once in a while.

Until Next Time.....

Franny

Princess Unaware Week One

Week One: Crawling Out of the Mudhole; The Princess recognizes the traps and snares

I love this Bible study by Brenda Garrison!  I hope you have gotten your copy and are following along; you'll get much more out of it that way!  I love how the beginning of every chapter shows tells us a part of a "Fairy Tale".

This week, we look at why we stumble, that Satan wants us to miss out on God's plan, and begin our Princess training.  Two of the main reasons we stumble, as stated in this chapter, are because we are not sure who we are and because we don't know or are not completely sure, WHOSE we are.  Yet if we DO know whose we are, how well do you know who God is?  Ah, another stumbling block.

And of course one of the biggest problems we have: Satan wants us to miss out on God's plan!  Satan has a lot of tools on his workbench to build this particular stumbling block, but his favorite and most used and effective tool is discouragement.  Once we are discouraged, so many other things fall apart.  We are then tired and give in, we believe lies, we don't have the will to fight, and of course, we wonder what the point is.  This tool of his is all that he needs sometimes to bring down more people than the flu of 1918!  Of course he also uses fear, perfectionism, and procrastination.

There is one other mudhole that I'm pretty sure is made of quicksand, and I feel like I am seeing more and more of lately.  It's the "poor, pitiful me, I'm trying so hard but I just can't do it" attitude.  A lot of these people do not want to do or to get better.  There are many reasons for this; laziness, liking the attention, or maybe actual "I'm not sure what else to do".  This is a dangerous, dangerous place to hang out.  Think about it.  Have you ever been there or know someone who has?  The person STATES that they want better, but they don't actually DO anything to get better, and no matter how many ways you point out to them to get on the right track, there is always a reason why they can't.  What happens more often than not, is that people give up and quit trying to pull the person out of that particular mudhole and walk on.

So you need to ask yourself; are you ready for some Princess training?  It won't be easy, and it won't always be fun, but it most definitely will be worth it!  Grab your copy of the book, read along and do the questions as your training, and then live it out daily. This first week of questions was so good!  Brenda walks you through basic truths so well!  I learned stuff about myself that surprised me, you know those kind of things that are right there below the surface that you just can't put your finger on.  Light bulbs were turning on left and right! For example, do I want to get well?  Yes, I do, but I want it to be easy!  And, "Perfectionism doesn't strive to be more like God but to be the best above everyone." (p.34)  OUCH!!  I learned that I'm focused on small, unimportant details and not the big picture.

Won't you join me on this journey?   Come on, Princesses, we can do this!!  Who's with me??

Until Next Time.....
Franny