Question #34: How do you welcome your husband home when he has been out of town or away on business? Do you show him a lot of love or just his to-do list?
I'm very lucky in that while my husband does travel for work, usually every week, it has only been an overnight thing a couple of times the whole time we've been together. He is usually very tired when he has been out of town, because when he does it's usually many hours away. Have you ever driven for 6-8 hours or more in a day? Even though you are just sitting, you feel so exhausted when you finally get out of that car!
When he has been out of town, and I have a good idea of when he will be home, those are the days I like to make sure that I cook something, not have a leftovers night. Of course that's not always possible if it is the night we have to be at small group or I have to teach my Bible study, but I do my best.
One thing that I have learned over the years about a to-do list is that, unless something is extremely urgent, (the washer clogged up and the fabric softener quit coming out) I do not give him a to-do list until the weekend. He has worked hard all day and he deserves a rest. Yes, I have worked all day too, but my goal in scheduling my own work is to be done by the time that he comes home so we have most evenings to rest together, spend time together, walk the dogs together, etc. His special treat is when I go teach, he is supposed to watch TV the whole time. (seriously, 22 episodes of his fishing show?! It's clogging up my DVR!)
Another thing that I have learned over the years about a to-do list is to not make it really long. Why should we "force" our husbands to work their tail off all weekend long after a long hard week at their regular job? Again, yes, I know that I worked hard all week long too, but again, I try to schedule all my work during his regular work hours so that we have the weekends free together. What I will do is try to be sure I do not put more than three jobs on there, unless maybe it's something that he can do in 5 minutes but I just couldn't reach it, wasn't strong enough, etc. My husband loves to fish, and the only time he can do this is on the weekends. I want to be sure that he has this time. While I am not always happy that he wants to spend every Saturday on the river, he deserves his down time to de-stress just as much as anyone else. And to be fair, if I have given him weekend chores, I give myself some too. Maybe I am assisting him with what I asked him to do, or maybe I'm working somewhere else in the house. Then when we are both done, we get to do something fun together.
You should try it! I think you'll see an improvement in not only his attitude towards chores, but yours as well. Plus you will have more meaningful down times together. You might even find a new hobby that both of you enjoy.
Until Next Time.....