Question # 29: How much influence do you have when it comes to your home? What do you find yourself compromising on? What do you wish you didn't have to compromise on?
I had to laugh when I read this section of the book (pages 127-130), did she just watch a movie of the start of my marriage?
My husband and I did a Bible study together about marriage, before we got married. One of the activities was to go through a list of chores or roles that people take on and decide who would do what, the man, the woman or if you would do it together. You put check marks next to things on your own then you came together and discussed your results. We matched on most everything, but one that surprised me was "who will do the decor of the home"? I had checked the woman, and he had checked both, together. I thought that was so sweet!! My heart swelled like a balloon with new love for this man that he cared so much about what our home looked like that we would do it together. Then he opened his mouth. "I have to make sure you don't hose this place down in purple!" POP!!! Pffffffffftttttt. There went my balloon!
We went for two years with nothing on the walls and no curtains either because everything I liked had some purple in it so I didn't even bring it up, and he was perfectly fine in wall to wall beige. I finally couldn't take it anymore and said we ARE going to find some pictures for the wall and you are going to help pick them out. We looked around at a couple stores, that's all he has the patience for, and at Kirkland's he found three pictures that he liked. Two were the same size and theme for either side of the glass doors in the living room and one was much larger with a frame that matched the wood of my chairs and table exactly, so it hung on the big empty wall behind them. I was so happy that he picked stuff out that I didn't really notice the content at first. Then when he hung them on the wall it made such a difference in the house to have something up that I still didn't notice. Then after a few weeks, I still felt like the place was kind of naked. I looked closely at the pictures wondering if I had chosen the right place for them. As I looked back and forth among them it hit me. All three were photo reprints and black and white. We still didn't have a stitch of color in the house!!!!!
The other place I compromised was in the bedroom. His favorite color is blue, and in case you didn't pick up on it, mine is purple. I got a comforter and matching curtains from Target in the Shabby Chic collection, but not the one I wanted. I got the British Rose, I think it's called. It has roses on it, but they are light blue. There is a tiny ruffle around the edge of the comforter, but other than that it's pretty manly....at least for linens! I also have sheets in a matching blue from the lightest colored rose in the pattern.
Needless to say I got a little tired of this, so after about 4 years of marriage, I got 2 very light lavender valances for the home office...which he rarely goes into, and in the main part of the house (it's all open and touching) I got filmy curtains that are kind of ivory with some dusty purple roses on them. I also got a painting of an iris on a canvas to put over the entertainment center. After over 7 years together I am lobbying for paint in some areas. Yep, still builder beige everywhere. Of course, once again in the master area I am compromising. I've chosen a silvery blue that matches the lightest rose in our bedding and curtains. And that's ok! I like that shade and since it is the bedroom I think the blue will be very soothing. I also think it will really make the room once we actually do it since it pulls a color out of the bed and windows. I would love to do purple somewhere and at this point he said I could in the laundry room...again another room he doesn't enter (ha ha). I really think that once he sees what paint can do he will loosen up, as long as we can afford it.
And just in case you might be thinking that my husband is a meany who gets his way, first of all I let him in the above situations....I want him to be happy here too. And secondly, I always get to pick what we watch for TV and I KNOW sometimes he really doesn't like it!! After all, marriage is all about give and take, right? ;)
Until Next Time.....