Question #22: In what ways do you try to honor your husband when you're in public together? Are there things you could do better?
This is a hard one for me to answer. In the book, Sara is talking about a job interview that includes the spouse. I've never had to do anything like that. My husband and I are (were) in very different lines of work, neither one requiring those social/business dealings where you had to have your spouse around.
So our public outings really only include friends and small group at church. In small group, I do talk about my husband's good qualities when it comes time to talk of such things, and I am sure never to tear him down or talk about something that might make him seem not the perfect husband, I'm sure you know what I mean. If your husband likes to sit around in his underwear (mine does not, just for the record) and burp while watching sports, your small group does not need to know that.
Also in those type of settings, my husband is very quiet so I will try to get him to speak up and not just take over the conversation myself....which he wouldn't mind me doing, but I don't want people to think it is because he isn't the leader of the family....he is just quiet.
Another thing that comes to mind is the dinner out. How many times over dinner has a topic come up that makes you mad? A dinner in public is not the time to argue about it. I have seen this happen before and I have instantly thought less of the woman for yelling or saying hurtful things that I could hear. Now I don't know what's going on in that marriage and it's none of my business, but when I see only that part played out in public it's just not good! I have always been a strong believer in, no matter who you are talking to, kids, sister, spouse, if you have something to argue about or a more sensitive discussion it should always be done in private. And on a side note, if you are upset with your spouse about something you think he has done wrong, be careful of telling this to friends and family. Sometimes when we are upset we want these people on "our side" and so we might embellish a little, or maybe it is just the plain truth, BUT when we then make up with our spouse and move on, our friends and family might not. They are stuck thinking about the terrible thing he did, and view him in that light from that moment on. We tend to tell the bad things way more than the good. Be sure to let your family and friends know how great your spouse is and why you love him.
So what could I do better? Well, I know sometimes when we are in public, my husband likes to hold my hand walking in parking lots or stores. Sometimes he tries to be funny about something that just hits me wrong and I don't think is funny at all. So I will pull away from him and give him a look. I need to do better at taking my own advice. I should probably just quietly say something like I didn't think that was funny, or can we change the subject, then in the privacy of the car explain how I felt about the comment.
Until Next Time.....