Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Proverbs 31 Wife - Week Twenty Five

Question # 25: How hard is it to wait and trust God for something?  Describe a time you had to do just that.

I have to admit that I'm a do it now kinda girl, so the waiting thing, not really my cup of tea!  It's usually very hard for me to wait on God for anything, although I have to say that sometimes when I'm really prayerfully focused He gives me the peace and contentment I need to wait on His answer.

I have one that is a little too personal to share, but just to let you know it turned out AWESOMELY (of course!).  But I can tell you about deciding to retire early.

Retirement, that's what I like to call it, but that implies you get some kind of benefits and pension.  Since I got neither, what I really did was quit, which is a whole lot scarier.  My health had been going downhill rapidly for about 4 years.  All the while my job was getting harder and harder.  I had a staff of three and they took one away, yet I still had to do the same amount of work.  Then the next year they added more duties.  My doctor wanted me to quit then, but we couldn't financially at that time.  Then the year after that, they added even more duties.  I was already doing the work that two people used to do.  Now, I am a hard worker and I always want to do my best, but you cannot do the same level of quality work when another entire person's workload is added to yours!  Then I'm supposed to keep my statistics up, have an interesting program going, and then do duties outside of my work space.  Needless to say the last two years I worked, I would come home and almost crawl from my car to my recliner, put my feet up and my husband had to bring me dinner and medicine, then after awhile I would crawl to the bedroom to start the whole cycle again.  So that left the weekends to do everything that should be done for a whole week.  Shopping, errands, bill paying, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and I would have to do extra of some of those things to last into the week. I know that some of you have weekends like this all the time, but I was doing it like I weighed 600 pounds and had cement shoes.

I wanted to quit when my doctor told me to, but I worked two more years.  During that time I prayed so hard for God to either deliver me from my illness, or somehow make us "rich" enough for me not to work.  He gave me practical answers during that two year wait, and He gave me some vague "it'll be ok" kind of answers.  During that time, these were some of the things He told me to do: I sold my car, I had a huge yard sale, we scaled back on some things like getting rid of the home phone, I did a better job of meal planning and coupon cutting, and as much as we could we tried to live on just my husband's income thereby saving almost two years of mine in the bank.  We knew it was time for me to go when the next year not only was I going to have to keep up all the added things from the past three years, but I was then going to be in charge of another club, AND a very busy committee.  God spoke very clearly when He said "it's time to go!"

I still am waiting on some answers from God in this whole situation.  This is only my first school year at home so I'm still getting used to things.  I worry still about money, we have to keep on a very tight budget to make things work.  I worry about what will happen when my insurance runs out.  But even though those worries creep in from time to time, I know that God will take care of me.  He spoke to me and comforted me too much to think that He would just let us fail now.  No way!  That was a very hard couple of years, but I am so much of a better person because of it, and I bet that's what God had in mind all along.

Until Next Time.....

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